Whilst i was putting on my make up the other week, as part of my new years revolution i discovers something about my self and about all my new years revolutions. I looked in my mirror whilst applying my lipstick as thought to myself why am i doing this, I'm putting a mask of makeup on to cover the way i look when i should be embrassing my look and not caring about the way i look or if it affects other people they can stuff them self and not bover to talk to me again! As another new years revolution i wanted to loss weight, i thought to my self today why am i wanting to lose weight and i realized that all the sly comments i get and when people call me fat, do they realize a little part of me tries to put it to the said and act all confident and not care when they don't understand it putt's me down and they don't think that i know i look terrible and i can't look as good as other people but at least I'm happy about my self. But when i walk down the corridor and hear these people say these thing's i just feel hatrid and ugly and my friends don't make it better by giving me nicknames or saying they need to lose weight when I'm obviously bigger than everyone! I just really wanted to say that this year i've made these revolution and said yerh i want to do them but i dont and my revolutions aint effecting me there effecting the people around me, so from today im going to say i dont care what people say about me and no im not going to stick to my revolutions im going to try and be healthier and open up to people and if people dont think other wise fu bye.

Everybody lies, and everybody is two faced, no matter how hard people try and persuade you otherwise. Theres always the "she said this" and "have you seen her new hair", and I have recently realised that boys are also very bitchy! So I don't think people should get upset as they should when they find out someones speaking about them behind there back, unless there best mates, which I can completely understand. I wish that nobody would do this though, but thats never going to change. But the thing that really gets to me is when people bitch to you about someone, then bitch about you to that person, and everyone thinks there innocent. I also hate it when they tell the person that you've said stuff and don't mention the fact they also joined in with the bitching. The last thing I hate is when someone bitches to you, and then in front of that person, they lick there arse and worship them, and treat you like shit. This happened to me today, and it really did upset me. But when I confronted her, she genuinly didn't realise what she'd done, so I forgave her because she means the world to me. I think you should just keep your friends close and just turn a blind eye whenever people say any rubbish about you, your better than them, and at least your the main bit of there conversation!

by KAB♥

you need trust in your self before you can trust others

No one understands how important trust is until it isn't there. I suggest that trust could make you and break you, So in life nothing can wok without trust.

Once you trust yourself you will be able to trust the people around you!

I have found out that a relationship don't work with out trust. People make a big deal out of trust and i never wondered or suspected why people did, until i saw how my friend were using it. I saw that my friends were luring me in and making me fell good about myself and told me lies which would make me feel anger and hatred. They new that once i let my barriers down and let them in they could do what ever they want. I would trust them enough to let them do what ever they want. One and other would turn each of them away from me and once they had, there was nothing i could do about it, cause i was the one letting them do it. I felt like i was getting used to find out information, and when i did say something it would get twisted or used against me. I couldn't tell people what had been said or what had happen cause the person would use it against me and I'd have to confess to what i had said. I'm not very good with confrontation or admitting something i had said because i just don't like to see people hurt be what i had done, so i try and create a barrier to stop them from getting in. Its quite hard to not let the people closest to you neither your family know things you don't even want to tell your self. So when i meet someone new i tend to put on a mask and act confident and nice knowing that they judge you by first impressions, and i tend to let down my barriers and admit to things I've said or done even if i speak badly about my friends because when i let my barriers down i tend to throw everything I've done out the window and get as close as i can to them so they don't know who i really am and i can portray someone that they want me to be whilst I'm not letting them control me. Some people may say it's acting fake or lying about your self but no it's nothing to do with neither of them because your not completely changing or acting like your someone else, your just not letting them in and sharing the things you do and there nothing fake about that....